The fourth edition of The Correspondent’s Club quarterly music and zine bundle, created in July 2021.
An exclusive “Exotic Monsters” album commentary, made just for you x
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Track listing:
1. Intro 2. Exotic Monsters 3. Seventeen 4. I Used To Know Everything 5. Dispensable Body 6. Seashaken 7. Loving Echoes 8. I’ll Start A Fire 9. Cancel Your Hopes 10. Long Shadows 11. Out Of The Blue 12. Black Car 13. Thank you xo
“I’ll Start A Fire” is a song about causing a ruckus even while everything is going wrong, cutting bad connections and ignoring all the noise in order to be free and express ourselves honestly. Taking whatever personal power we still have and making something with it, stopping ourselves from stopping ourselves.
As soon as I’ve decided I’ve got all the songs lined up for an album, I can rely on one or two cheeky musical ideas to come along and demand my attention.
“I’ll Start A Fire” was the first of two songs I wrote in September 2020 that jostled for a space on the record (the second was “Black Car”), and I’m so glad they did.
Giving yourself permission to be you can be one of the hardest things, and has really been a process for me, but it’s brought great joy and fulfilment to my life in recent years. I highly recommend giving it a try.
CREDITS
Written, produced, performed and recorded by Laura Kidd at The Launchpad, Bristol. Drums by Max Saidi. Mixed by Dan Austin. Mastered by Katie Tavini. Artwork by Alex Tillbrook, concept by Laura Kidd.
LYRICS
I stole a car in a dream And now I’m feeling paranoid Well I spent so long ignoring my instincts Now I’m searching to destroy
I’ll start a fire while the world burns I’ll start a fire, I’ll start a fire
So I sink these heavy words in a diary And take them all to heart Gonna build myself a fortress of vanity And then I’ll fall apart
I’ll start a fire while the world burns I’ll cut connections while the planet turns I’ll start a fire cos it seems we’re elbow deep In cheap banalities I’ll start a fire, I’ll start a fire
I’ll start a fire while the world burns I’ll cut connections while the planet turns I’ll start a fire cos it seems we’re elbow deep In cheap banalities I’ll start a fire, I’ll start a fire
THANK YOU for visiting my website!I’m Laura Kidd, a music producer, songwriter and podcaster based in Bristol, UK. It’s great to meet you.
“Cavernous as its darkly-elliptical tale unfolds, “Seventeen” careens with compassion” – The Autumn Roses
“An enormous pop-rock anthem with a heart-throttlingly poignant story [by] Penfriend aka singer/songwriter/producer/genius example of how to do independent musicianship right, Laura Kidd” – Loud Women (single of the week)
ABOUT THE SONG
Seventeen. Is there a more complicated age? Not quite yet an adult, but impatient to be treated like one; navigating an avalanche of new experiences and urgent emotions, dismissed by the grownups as “teenage angst” or “just a phase”. An exhausting quest to negotiate a new space for ourselves, juggling the interests of parents, teachers and friends while not knowing to question their motives.
This song is an excavation, a letting go, an act of self-forgiveness.
Traumatic events from the past can feel just as fresh, years later, the ghosts of our former selves creeping up to tap us on the shoulder with icy fingers.
Sometimes we need to package up our memories with tidy words to dispel the haunting.
Sometimes we just need to stop blaming ourselves.
Sometimes writing songs is like painstakingly sculpting sounds from thin air; other times they arrive in a whoosh, fighting to be heard. “Seventeen” appeared on a summer Saturday evening, falling out of me in jagged swathes.
Facing up to our ghosts isn’t a pleasant experience, but this song helped me over a major stumbling block from my past, bringing me a fresh perspective and new freedom.
CREDITS
Written, produced, performed and recorded by Laura Kidd at The Launchpad, Bristol. Drums by Max Saidi. Piano arranged by Laura Kidd, performed and recorded by Catherine Anne Davies. Mixed by Dan Austin. Mastered by Katie Tavini. Artwork by Alex Tillbrook, concept by Laura Kidd.
LYRICS
Happy birthday, time to say goodbye Such a big girl, keep all this inside Dial back those dreams Wishing impossible things Bursting your seams It hurts when we grow
Tell me what you wanted I was seventeen Tell me I deserved it Because I was seventeen
Toxic teens on mixtape afternoons Photostatic memories of you Fold paper planes Pull them apart when it rains Smash windowpanes Stretching our wings alone
Tell me what you wanted I was seventeen Tell me I deserved it I was seventeen Tell me it was all my fault I was seventeen Tell me you remember
Tell me what you wanted I was seventeen Tell me I deserved it I was seventeen Give me a good reason I was seventeen Tell me you’re so sorry I was seventeen
+ I make a podcast called “Attention Engineer”, where I speak to fellow artists about creativity, grit and determination. Visit this page to find out more.
The second song from Obey Robots, my collaboration project with Rat (Ned’s Atomic Dustbin), “Inside Out” started off as a shimmering acoustic guitar idea that Rat demoed and saved in a folder he called “Maybe send to Laura”. I’m very glad he did send it to me! After sharing the punchy riffs of “Let It Snow” with you at the end of 2020, we wanted to conjure a different mood, so I encouraged Rat to layer up the guitars while I went off to write the melody, lyrics and cello parts.
This song is about dealing with the new groundhog-day-normal many of us have been experiencing for the past year: the highs, mediums and lows of a life made much smaller by circumstance. Ravelling and unravelling at different speeds to those around us, perhaps: trying to feel a semblance of forward motion; trying to remember what the point is. Deciding to keep hoping.
With musicians having to wait for in-person work to be possible again, it felt like the right time to get back in touch with my A-Level Music pal David Lale, who has played for the London Philharmonic Orchestra for the past 8 years. I always knew he’d go far!
David played the parts beautifully, of course, and added some extra touches in the instrumental to take it to new heights. It was a lovely opportunity to work together for the first time since we arranged Green Day’s “Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)” for a school concert back in the day. Thank you, David.
Fun fact: the original working title of this song was “Spider_Capo”. Rat, ever the fan of using different tunings but lacking the will to actually tune his guitars alternately, clearly needed to get a new toy. A novice attempt at using the spider capo (a piece of equipment strongly resembling a torture device) resulted in the basic melodic chords being written for the song that would become “Inside Out”.
CREDITS
Written by Pring / Kidd. Produced by Laura Kidd. Mixed by Dan Austin. Mastered by Katie Tavini. Guitar performed and recorded by Rat. Cello arrangement by Laura Kidd. Cello performed and recorded by David Lale.
+ New episodes of my music podcast “Attention Engineer” are released every Wednesday – visit this page to find out more and subscribe via your favourite podcast platform.
Release date: 26th March 2021 Label: My Big Sister Recordings
ABOUT THE SONG
“Black Car” is a song about love and death, guilt and gratitude, taking time to figure out what’s most important, feeling desperately sad and isolated and grieving the loss of so many. Dealing with anger and frustration at the UK government for making so many missteps. Trying to keep on keeping on, while finding it hard to see a way out of this, however many “roadmaps” are announced. Accepting – and feeling – our feelings.
“That this single release marks the first anniversary of the first UK lockdown is an accident, but sometimes things just fall into place like that when we focus on what’s important to us. Throughout this loneliest of years, I’ve tried to keep connected to humanity through making and releasing new music, podcast episodes and my weekly emails, doing what I can to create pinpoints of light in dark times. With all the gratitude in the world, I have to remind myself it’s still ok to feel wounded by what’s been going on and to feel scared about what’s to come. We will all be changed by this experience, and at the root of everything is the love we have for others.”
I don’t know what other bands “Black Car” sounds like, or have any clever phrases lined up to entreat you to click “play”. This is an honest, melancholy song about a universal experience that will be discussed in the history books of the future, guitars and synths centred around a heady electronic heartbeat, with a reverent Kurt Vonnegut reference (“loving echoes”) in the middle.
Keep your loved ones close x
CREDITS
Written, produced, performed and recorded by Laura Kidd at The Launchpad, Bristol. Mixed by Dan Austin. Mastered by Katie Tavini. Artwork by Alex Tillbrook, concept by Laura Kidd.
LYRICS
Remember the summer when everyone stayed at home? Ships in a bottle, stacked up with our lives on hold
If we could really see the warnings that were written before If we could really feel Our hearts would smash all over the floor
Hear me now, I can feel the thunder March me out with the fallen number Will there be – is there a black car waiting for me? Keep your loved ones close
This is surviving, but we’re having a god damn year Tired of climbing, but the universe left us here
And on my worst of days I want to keep wanting to be kind But everywhere I see machines are taking over our minds
Hear me now, I can feel the thunder March me out with the fallen number Will there be – is there a black car waiting for me? Keep your loved ones close
Keep your loved ones close Even on calm waters, waves will rise As my heart explodes Loving echoes dancing in my eyes
Keep your loved ones close Keep your loves ones close Keep your loved ones close
Hear me now, I can feel the thunder March me out with the fallen number Will there be – is there a black car waiting?
Hear me now, I can feel the thunder March me out with the fallen number Will there be – Is there a black car waiting for me?
“Cancel Your Hopes” is about doing everything you were told was right and then realising the world’s going to end despite your best efforts. Left stranded by those who were once the grownups, our mission is to keep trying to appreciate the incredible fact of simply existing in this beautiful world, while attempting to navigate the toxic parts of technology, live a meaningful life of use to others, love deeply and learn to accept love, leaving as little negative trace on the planet as possible while doing so.
In June 2019 I spent several hours enjoying Radiohead’s “Minidiscs [Hacked]” – a collection of demos and live recordings released on Bandcamp after they were somehow stolen. The experience was very moving – intimate, almost too fly-on-the-wall nosey – and a handy reminder that even the greatest bands on the planet have to work to create their art.
I started to feel guilty for listening to someone else’s ideas archive when I had my own gathering dust in the corner of my studio. I started working through my own minidisc collection, listening through to snippets of ideas from my early days of writing, and was excited to come across a riff and chords idea from 2005 which became “Cancel Your Hopes”. I used the chorus melody from the original recording, wordless apart from the phrase “fucking beautiful”, which I also kept because it created such a key moment of intensity in that melodic line. I rarely swear in song, but sometimes there is no other option.
The same week, I’d finished having my mind blown apart by Barbara Kingsolver’s beautiful, devastating novel “Flight Behaviour”. While reading I’d scribbled copious notes: scraps of words and phrases that resonated with me from the book plus thoughts, feelings and phrases of my own sparked by her writing.
The music and words soon collided with a joyous bang.
When I was at school I remember teachers and the newspapers saying we were going to have to deal with the effects of global warming in 15 years time…then everything seemed to go quiet. It’s an understatement to say there is work to do, but I want to believe in a future for this messy, complicated, potentially wonderful species.
CREDITS
Written, produced, performed and recorded by Laura Kidd at The Launchpad, Bristol. Drums by Max Saidi. Mixed by Dan Austin. Mastered by Katie Tavini. Artwork by Alex Tillbrook, concept by Laura Kidd.
LYRICS
Cancel your hopes, dear Do you remember when this was all fields? Boys in the boardroom backslapping their deals There’s a hole in our bucket, dear Liza – a hole
Walk the high wire with no mind for the crash Are we in denial or do we crave collapse? Can’t look strangers in the eye Is that cos we are terrified?
Cos you know that we said forever And you see that there’s nothing left So let’s stand til we all fall over Take my hand cos it’s so fucking beautiful
Cancel your hopes, please The planet’s on fire while we’re stroking our screens Buy better headphones to muffle their screams There’s a hole in our bucket And everyone knows
Walk the high wire with no mind for the crash Are we in denial or do we crave collapse? Won’t look strangers in the eye Is that cos we are dead inside?
Cos you know that we said forever And you see that there’s nothing left So let’s stand til we all fall over Take my hand cos it’s so fucking beautiful
Now I see that we’re going under But I know that there’s nothing else So as long as we stand together Take my hand cos you’re so fucking beautiful
+ New episodes of my music podcast “Attention Engineer” are released every Wednesday – visit this page to find out more and subscribe via your favourite podcast platform.
“We’re more connected than ever, yet we’re becoming more polarised. The pandemic promised a coming together of communities yet, as the third UK lockdown grinds grimly on, the people in my area of Bristol have battened down the proverbial hatches. It’s easy to feel like we live on a different planet from our fellow humans sometimes, so with this video I wanted to bring the artwork for the single to life, to suggest that perhaps the monsters we perceive to be all around us are more similar to us than different.
I spent 20 hours constructing 3D paper masks, set up a green screen in my living room and used up two of my daily exercise sessions to create this oddball trip into my imagination. Enjoy!”
ABOUT THE SONG
Penfriend, aka music producer, songwriter and multi-disciplinary artist Laura Kidd, presents “Exotic Monsters“.
Sparked by a throwaway phrase from Margaret Atwood’s “The Handmaid’s Tale”, “Exotic Monsters” is a laundry list of asynchronous human needs and desires; a reflection of our increasingly confused, disconnected and polarised lives. A timely reminder of the practice of cultivating gratitude through meditation, the song is an attempt to examine our internalised inconsistencies; the “facts” we pile up on our own backs throughout lives bombarded by airbrushed images and ads for the unattainable baubles we’re informed are essential for true happiness.
Shackled to our phones by big tech companies monetising and eroding our attention spans, feeling increasingly as though we live on a different planet to those we disagree with, chasing likes on social media while forgetting to look after our brains and our hearts…where will this all end? Some days it’s hard to believe late MP Jo Cox’s poignant words, that “we are far more united and have far more in common with each other than things that divide us”.
Addressing this sense of disconnection and depersonalisation, “Exotic Monsters” evokes the menace of “Enjoy The Silence”-era Depeche Mode with a nod to the 80s- Madonna hero worship of Sky Ferreira’s “Everything Is Embarrassing” and the hypnotic synth pop of Sylvan Esso.
To quote Björk, “I’m no fucking Buddhist, but this is enlightenment”.
Fun fact: “Exotic Monsters” features several Creative Commons drum samples created by the European Space Agency, recorded at their European Space Research and Technology Centre in the Netherlands. Using sounds from space on a song about feeling disconnected from life on earth just felt wildly appropriate…
CREDITS
Written, produced, performed and recorded by Laura Kidd at The Launchpad, Bristol. Mixed by Dan Austin. Mastered by Katie Tavini. Artwork by Alex Tillbrook, concept by LK.
I try sollipsistic recreation I crave love without abbreviation I need time to kiss this cup of coffee I keep letters from the one who loved me I will take all the dreams that Hollywood promised me I want it now
We’re exotic monsters, dead from the waist down How can I be clear? Gratitude’s the first sign of waking I won’t go back
Keep a kiss for me Cos we all fall down under an international sky Fighting to believe it’ll be all right I’m on an extrasolar high
I seek narcissistic decoration I crave soil, warmth, ventilation I’d like to focus on my silent fiction I need to kick this dopamine addiction I dream of being someone’s happy memory I want it all
We’re exotic monsters, dead from the waist down How can I be clear? Gratitude’s the first sign of waking Please don’t keep me here
Keep a kiss for me Cos we all fall down under an international sky Fighting to believe it’ll be all right I’m on an extrasolar high
Keep a kiss for me Cos we all fall down under an international sky Fighting to believe it’ll be all right I’m on an extrasolar high
+ New episodes of my music podcast “Attention Engineer” are released every Wednesday – visit this page to find out more and subscribe via your favourite podcast platform.
“Let It Snow” is the debut single by Obey Robots – a bold new project from Rat (Ned’s Atomic Dustbin) and Laura Kidd (Penfriend / She Makes War). Connected by mutual friend Miles Hunt (The Wonder Stuff), the pair pool their disparate influences to break new ground.
An unflinching, anthemic powerhouse to close out a terrible year, “Let It Snow” announces itself on a motoric Krautrock groove recalling Stereolab’s “French Disko” if rewired by Queens Of The Stone Age or “Used For Glue”-era Rival Schools. There isn’t a jingle bell in sight – just a clarion call for a collective look to the future.
As her previously busy world reduced to the size of her Bristol studio, The Launchpad, Laura started creating cut-up collages from Rat’s intense, melodic guitar parts, building new sound spaces to voice her hopes, fears and frustrations but, more importantly, to offer a hand to the uncertain.
The lyrics to “Let It Snow” issue a heady invocation to the weather gods to fast forward this worst of years by dousing the world in clean, crisp hope for brighter days, where we can hug our loved ones and gather together in dark music venues to celebrate the wonders of being alive.
Written by Pring / Kidd. Produced by Laura Kidd. Mixed by Dan Austin. Mastered by Katie Tavini. Guitar performed and recorded by Rat. Bass, vocals and synths performed and recorded by Laura Kidd. Drums performed and recorded by Max Saidi.
LYRICS
Look how we run for cover Watch how we fight, fight, fight I haven’t seen my mother But I found my lust for life
I want to race the summer Cos we’re falling down, down Just let me talk the winter round
I’m feeling so soluble, time melts away These days are unendable Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
The roar becomes a whisper Smash through computer screens I haven’t seen my sister So fire up the time machines
I’m feeling so soluble, time melts away These days are unendable Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
I’m feeling invisible, words wear away This year is impossible Let it go, let it go, let it go
Feeling so soluble, time melts away These days are unendable Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow Let it go, let it go, let it go
+ New episodes of my music podcast “Attention Engineer” are released every Wednesday – visit this page to find out more and subscribe via your favourite podcast platform.
