You wouldn’t believe some of the messages I receive…but 15 years into sharing music on the internet I’m much better at turning lemons into lemonade. Since I last wrote to you I’ve been sharing encouraging weekly videos on my YouTube channel, and the responses from viewers have been truly heartwarming.

I’ll share some of the links with you below, but first, here’s an invitation to my FREE livestream next Wednesday 3rd July at 8pm (GMT+1)!

I’m calling this one “Sad Song Summer”, and I’ll be sharing at least one brand new never-EVER-performed Penfriend song nestled within a classic set of my sad songs to make you feel better.

No football, no politics x

How it’s (really) going

It’s album finishing time, which means ignoring things like piles of clothes waiting to be folded in favour of sitting at my desk and not leaving til I’ve made some progress. I’ve been figuring out lyrics for the shortlist of songs calling out to me from my teetering stack of voice memos, surprising myself with some of the things that are coming out from the depths of the last few years of life and love.

I find starting things easy, fun and exciting – but finishing them can be a bit more tricky. When you set your own deadlines, it’s easy to let them whoosh by (especially when writing and releasing a collaboration album, moving city etc), but something feels different this time.

My ability to finish creative projects is closely linked to how I feel about myself. Earlier this year I wasn’t feeling very confident, so I’ve been doing a few things to try and build myself back up. Exercise, eating healthy most of the time, getting outside more, reading, restricting my phone use, all the basic stuff that helps me feel like I am capable of doing big, difficult things.

One of the new activities that has helped me the most is starting to write 1000 words a day. I listened to Ali Abdaal’s podcast episode with Nathan Barry and started doing it in February. I managed about 40 days in a row, then I stopped. Then I started again. Then I stopped, and now I’ve started again and it feels really good (again!).

I just think it helps me to put aside time to get my thoughts out of my head, work on any bits of writing I need to share in emails or online in the coming weeks, and sometimes just rant on about whatever’s bothering me. Very little of what I write will ever be seen by other eyes, but that’s not the point of it.

I’ve written 67,329 words in this way since 14^th February 2024, and that feels great. Doing the things I say I want to do feels great. Being the person I think of myself as feels great. I want to be someone who writes thoughtful prose, who finishes songs, who spends time outside in nature, amongst other things. And I’ll keep trying to be that person, while trying not to be too hard on my in-this-moment self.

In my Notes app I have written in large letters: stop looking at the internet: your new album isn’t on there.

So, between 8th and 26th July 2024 I am recording my new Penfriend album, here in The Launchpad.

A few friends will be popping up as guest musicians, and Chris Sheldon is on board to mix, after doing such a stellar job on the Obey Robots album and, you know, all those great records for Foo Fighters, Feeder, My Vitriol, and all the rest.

Finishing big projects can be hard, but right now I’m really enjoying being immersed in this album. Not rushing, but not leaving things so open-ended that it doesn’t feel like it matters if I work on these songs or not.

It matters to me, so I’m doing it. And I’m really looking forward to sharing this new collection of songs with you.

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With love from The Correspondent’s Club 🖤

It was lovely to welcome 7 new Correspondents in June – welcome, welcome, welcome!

I don’t write much on the internet any more -> this is where it’s all happening.

Receive early demos, weekly check-in posts, invitations to private online events, access to my entire digital archive of albums, demos, live tracks and zines…and more.

Membership starts from £5 per month with no ongoing commitment, or you can get 10% off when you pay for 12 months up front.

The 16th TCC bundle is being compiled next week, and there are only 15 physical copies left of TCC #15, so get yours here by upgrading your existing membership or browsing physical and digital tiers.

ICYMI

1. I decorated a grotty attic to make albums in – come and see what The Launchpad (Nottingham version) looks like in the days leading up to me getting stuck into the second Penfriend album.

2. I wrote a sh*t song – and the world didn’t end – I think one of the reasons many of us find it hard to try stuff is because we think we’re going to suck at it. I have over 100 original songs out in the world, and I still write a dud once in a while!

3. A song for the introverts: “The Life Of The Party” is one of the definites for my upcoming new album, and this performance from June’s livestream is my favourite so far.

4. You wouldn’t believe some of the messages I receive. Occasionally they illustrate such a good point that I turn them into videos designed to help encourage others to keep going. Hence “Keep doing your thing (even if THEY don’t like it”) xo

Penfriend’s Picks

1. Album: “Lives Outgrown” by Beth Gibbons. As a huge Portishead fan I was very excited about this, and it’s such a rich tapestry of sounds and beautiful songs.

2. Book: “The Woman In Me” – Britney Spears.

3. Film: “Unfrosted” by Jerry Seinfeld (Netflix). Utterly charming…now, please pass the Poptarts!

Fun fact: when I first heard of Poptarts as a child, I thought the “iced” flavours must be cold.
Yep.

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Penfriend’s Playlist – July 2024

1. Doctor Blind – Emily Haines & The Soft Skeleton (Emily from Metric)
2. Out Of A Million – DuBlonde
3. C’est Comme Ça – Wet Leg covering Paramore!
4. Ghost – Charley Stone
5. The Candy House – Kim Gordon
6. Medication Nation – The Empty Page
7. Salt – Chelsea Wolfe
8. Headlights – Katy Kirby
9. Fortify – She Makes War
10. Floating On A Moment – Beth Gibbons

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Over to you – what songs / videos / links have you enjoyed lately? Share them in the comments below xo

It’s my birthday today, so I wrote this yesterday and am using the wonders of scheduling technology to share it with you at a time that might suit you best for reading and clicking on links.

Before I get into my May bits and bobs, consider this an invitation to my online birthday party gig next Wednesday 5th June at 8pm (GMT+1)! I’ll be playing some of my all-time favourite old and new SMW / Penfriend songs to celebrate another flight around the moon, or whatever the phrase is 😉

May skipped by in a heady blast of heat and humidity, as I whisked myself away to South Korea for a two-week adventure. I’m still processing all the sights and sounds, and acclimatising back to normal temperatures and surroundings is taking a while, but I’m delighted to be back in The Launchpad working on my new solo album.

I have 6 finished and 15 part-finished songs hanging out together on my studio whiteboard and things are ticking along as well as these things ever do. Yesterday I caught myself criticising the sound quality of a piece of music I’m only partway through figuring out the notes for, and thanked my younger self for saving this Martha Graham quote in my Notes app:

“It is not your business to determine how good it is. It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.”

It’s not supposed to sound great yet…it’s just supposed to be invited out of my brain and my heart. Perhaps it’ll become something, perhaps it won’t. I just have to keep the channel open.

That’s why I keep emailing you, too – to keep the channel open. I appreciate you doing the same – it spurs me on so much to know there’s someone out there sending the kind of warm encouragement I try to send back through my songs and videos.

It’s a beautiful thing.

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ICYMI – things I shared in May

1. After an eight-month break I shared this video about why I stopped uploading regularly to YouTube. Sometimes other important things get in the way…but I’m back!

2. My next “Tea & Empathy” episode was shot in Seoul, South Korea…I talked about the bizarre connection I found there between Maxwell House vending machine coffee and…eels.

Subscribe to my channel to be one of the first to see the next weekly episode, coming your way tomorrow at 6pm.

3. In case you missed it, the new music video for “Seashaken” is online now. Shot on the North Friesan island of Sylt, nature’s wind machine (the wind) makes for a surprisingly warm result (yep, it was actually FREEZING).

With love from The Correspondent’s Club 🖤

May was the second month of The Correspondent’s Club’s move to Patreon, and I was delighted to welcome some new Correspondents!

Members get weekly check-in posts, invitations to private online events, access to my entire digital archive of albums, demos, live tracks and zines and more.

Membership starts from £5 per month with no ongoing commitment, or you can get 10% off when you pay for 12 months up front.

This month, members received:

1. Physical copies of Correspondent’s Club bundle #15 in the post along with swanky new Welcome Packs including a handwritten letter, bookmark, badge, stickers and a Penfriend pen. I’m so pleased with how these turned out!

2. An invitation to a Zoom chat where I showed off a small portion of my Korean stationery haul PLUS played snippets of new album demos. Members-only watch link.

There are only 19 physical copies left of TCC #15, so get yours here by upgrading your existing membership or browsing physical and digital tiers.

Penfriend’s Picks

1. Book: I read two very poorly written novels in a row while away in Korea, which was disappointing. A reading rescue mission was required – and I managed to find a pristine 1993 copy of “The Remains Of The Day” by Kazuo Ishiguro in a dusty stack of English language books in Busan’s Bosu-dong Book Street. It took me a while to get into the purposefully stuffy tone but then, wow.
   
   
2. TV Series: “Travelers” – whoah – that’s Will from Will & Grace!!! And wait – MacKenzie Porter has a singing career too? I’m so late to every single party.
   
   
3. Album: “Here Comes The Actual Band” by Charley Stone (guitarist for Sleeper, Desperate Journalist, Charlotte Hatherley, ex-Gay Dad and many more!)
   
   
4. Album: “Imploding” by The Empty Page

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Penfriend’s Playlist – June 2024

Track listing + links to Bandcamp or band websites

1. Free Food – Charley Stone
2. The News – Paramore
3. Elephant – Obey Robots
4. Life Is A Wave – The Empty Page
5. It Could’ve Been You – Hannah Grae
6. Welcome To – Moglii & Novaa
7. Tu y Yo – Moglii & Novaa
8. Dial Drunk – Noah Kahan
9. Coming Home To You – MacKenzie Porter
10. Sunlight At Stratford Station – Jay Chakavorty

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Over to you – what songs / videos / links have you enjoyed lately? Share them in the comments below xo

I’m here today with Penfriend’s monthly missive #1: a mini-essay on my latest attempt to get better at life, an audiovisual celebration of saltwater and the wind in my hair, some dates for your diary, music, book and TV recommendations plus 15 songs I love.

But first, an invitation: next Wednesday 1st May I’ll be playing a FREE online gig starting at 8pm UK time.

Over the years several recurring themes have arisen in my songwriting, so “She Sings Sea Songs” will bring together (almost) all my sea-referencing songs. 

Sailor’s hats are optional, hearty singalongs are encouraged. See you there?

ICYMI – things I shared in April

1. I shared the music video for “Seashaken” this month, shot on the North Frisian island of Sylt at the beginning of March. Yes, it was very cold on that empty beach!

It feels so good to have finally put visuals to the music, and I no longer have to feel annoyed with myself for waiting so long to get round to it. In a world where we’re conditioned to think that 700 views on a video in 4 days is a big failure, I’m very thankful for every person who takes the time to join me in the “Seashaken” bubble.

2. “Why I’m not pretending to be perfect and amazing” – trying out a different version of my a capella vocal loops song “Delete” for my latest livestream via a brief discussion of perfection and being a flawed human 

3. April marked the 12th and 8th birthdays of “Little Battles” and “Direction Of Travel” respectively, so I spent an afternoon setting up a deluxe audiovisual listening party and it was a joyful experience. Watch it back here.

4. In related news, the theme for April’s online gig was “Direction Of Battles” – an amalgamation of “Little Battles” and “Direction Of Travel” to celebrate both album birthdays. The limited digital release of the gig has now disappeared into the digital ether, but the gig is available to watch here.

5. April was a month of big change here at Penfriend HQ, so before I cancelled 235 recurring payments I asked myself “Is this a stupid thing to do?” 

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With love from The Correspondent’s Club 🖤

April was the first month of The Correspondent’s Club on Patreon. After five years of DIY-ing it we moved to a trusted platform that has continually impressed me as a supporter of other artists on there.

Huge thanks to all the OCs (Original Correspondents) who made the leap with me, and warmest of welcomes to all the new Correspondents too!

(Thank goodness it turned out NOT to be a stupid thing to do!)

This month, members received:

1. TCC #015 – an 8-track members only experience + 24 page zine. My personal highlight of this new art and music bundle is a new recording of “I Deny”, a song I demoed in my flat above a cafe in East Dulwich in 2005!
   
   Preview the new bundle here.
   
   
2. An invitation to the Patreon launch party Zoom, where a white tiger played the acoustic guitar and I showed everyone the new album song list scrawled on my whiteboard – full video replay available here.
   
   
3. Phone lock screens in four different colours featuring the new TCC logo! WHY NOT EH
   
   

Penfriend’s Picks

1. Book: “The Chain” by Chimene Suleyman
2. TV series: “Baby Reindeer” (Netflix)
3. Album: “Wall Of Eyes” by The Smile (keep reading for this month’s playlist)

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How it’s (really) going

Earlier this week I listened to an excellent podcast episode on the importance of muscle mass for longevity. I am taking many useful tips away from it, but one thing they said really stood out to me: we’re not exercising to get better at exercise, we’re exercising to get better at life.

It reminded me of the quote I try to keep in mind whenever I talk myself into setting aside 10 minutes per day to meditate: I don’t meditate to get good at meditating, I meditate to have a better day.

Getting better at life is something I think a lot about, read a lot about and listen to a lot of podcasts about.

It’s why I’m sitting here in Blackpool, sipping coffee and looking at the sea. My dear friend Jane Claire Bradley – poet, novelist, therapist and all-round superstar human – performed at Blackpool Central Library on Tuesday for World Book Night, celebrating the paperback launch of her beautiful debut novel “Dear Neighbour” – available here.

I was due a trip to the North West, so we arranged to stay on together after her performance for a proper catchup and some co-working slash life and career planning with someone smart to bounce ideas off. It was so helpful to create space specifically for that, away from my usual surroundings and distractions, and I’m feeling much clearer about what my plans are for the rest of 2024. Thanks, Jane!

The time spent squinting at calendars and notebooks yesterday has led to this very email – this “Monthly Missive” series is one of a few ideas that have languished on my To Do list for many moons. After a morning of seeing the sights here by the sea, I’m setting off for home galvanised and enthusiastic about making my next batch of ideas a reality.

Before heading up to Blackpool I spent a day and a night with my Gran at the house she’s lived in for 34 years. I slept in the bed I slept in as a little kid, stood in the garden I roller-skated in after picking up cheap skates at the car boot sale in the mid-90s. Everything seemed huge to me, then, and now it’s normal size.

This house is more familiar to me than any other relative’s home. But I didn’t think I’d ever see her there again.

Last summer we nearly lost her, and she’s been in and out of hospital ever since. She’s a trooper. She’s a marvel. And now she’s getting used to her new normal: she’s pretty mobile, still, but with carers checking in four times per day, a stairlift to whoosh upstairs on and walking frames kept within arm’s length.

I was relieved to see how steady she is – falls being a big worry for us – and we were able to take a trip out to the local shopping centre for sausage rolls and a detailed perusal of the homeware aisles of TK Maxx. It was delightful, and I now possess two delicious scented candles, a window cleaning scraper thing, a fridge organiser and some gold heart earrings. I refused to let Gran pay, so she stuffed a twenty pound note into my hand as I left. Thanks, Gran!

As I drove away from her house on Tuesday, waving in the rear view mirror, I started listening to the aforementioned podcast, recommended by my PT. She recently started sending me links to information on midlife hormonal fluctuations and how strength training and supplements (turmeric, magnesium, Vitamin D, oh my!) can build and maintain vitality. It’s brand new information for me, and it’s important.

I turn 43 on 1^st June, and I feel absolutely fine about that. But I have, just recently, begun to take my health more seriously, and taking a longer term view of things. The phrase “I can’t be bothered to go to the gym” still pops into my mind regularly, but I’m more aware than ever that fulfilling my responsibilities to my body now will pay dividends in the future.

I remember being impressed with my Gran’s mobility when she was in her 70s, but I didn’t connect that thought to anything I was doing for my own health at the time. I presumed some people were lucky with their bodies and some people were unlucky – and that’s certainly true in a lot of situations – but the more I read and watch and listen to information about preventable health issues, the more I resolve to take as much into my own hands as possible on that front.

My super Gran is a huge inspiration, but I’m not willing to leave my future mobility completely to chance. However much I feel I have to get done, I am resolving to put my health first every day.

As I sit typing these words, Blackpool Tower rising up to my left, the North pier to my right and the comedy carpet in the middle, I am feeling grateful for my luck, and determined to keep putting in the reps to get better at life.

I truly hope this first Monthly Missive finds you well.

Love,
Laura xxx

EDIT 26/4/24 – 10 minutes after publishing this post yesterday I found out that Gran had fallen in her kitchen and was in an ambulance headed for A&E. Luckily I was still only an hour away, so I went to join her and my cousin while she waited for a scan. Her fractured hip (her second in 9 months) is being operated on today – thank you thank you THANK YOU NHS staff xxx

Dates for your diary

Monday 29th April – London – Brittain Ashford at The Green Note
A duo show with my friend and musical collaborator Jay Chakravorty
Tickets
(I am not performing or attending, just recommending!)

Wednesday 1st May – online – “She Sings Sea Songs”
FREE online gig, 8pm UK time
Set reminder / watch / watch later

Friday 10th May – online – The Empty Page release their second album “Imploding”
I for one am excited about this! 
Pre-order here.

Tuesday 21st May – “Exotic Monsters” turns 3

13th-22nd June – around the UK – Carol Hodge + Julia Othmer present The Selenite Songs Tour
Get tickets
(I am not performing, just recommending!)

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Penfriend’s Playlist – April 2024

Track listing + links to Bandcamp or band websites

1. Seventeen – Penfriend (from my 2021 album “Exotic Monsters”)
2. What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Paranoid – The Beaches
3. A Scream – Charley Stone
4. Dry Ice – The Empty Page
5. Invocation – Killing Joke
6. The Beast – Modern Coven
7. Dancing With Ghosts – Hania Rani + Patrick Watson
8. Seashaken – Penfriend (from my 2021 album “Exotic Monsters”)
9. Adult Swim – Ruby Waters
10. Rill Bill – Sleigh Bells
11. There Should Be Unicorns – The Flaming Lips
12. Moscow – Brittain Ashford
13. Milk – Abby Sage
14. W.I.F.I. (Upper) – Wildermiss
15. Under Our Pillows – The Smile

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Over to you – what songs / videos / links have you enjoyed lately? Share them in the comments below xo