What are you putting off?

by Laura Kidd

What are you currently putting off?
How can you simplify the process to make a version of your ideal outcome possible?

(I’ll explain the t-shirt modelling photos at the end…)

I had a lovely, nerdy chat with Katie Lee / KJ Lyttleton last week about how I manage my big email list, grown over the past 16 years, and how I keep my Substack subscribers (mostly) separate. Katie writes brilliant books, and brilliant blog posts, and in my opinion the people who read her books would love her blog posts, and vice versa, though maybe I’m just biased because I’ve been in touch with her since Twitter was decent (so, at least 15 years, maybe more like 18 – HOLY SHIT).

So we talked about that sort of thing for a while, and I firmly encouraged her to do nice fun things like make an unboxing video for her novels, which she did¹, which nudged me to make an unboxing video for a new instrument that arrived here this week.

It’s been a weird few months here: I released my sixth solo album in April, scheduled in a little energy slump and a holiday and then got myself back up and running again, just in time to see my Gran for one last time before she (very peacefully) died. And then a sort of unravelling took place: a couple of weird, foggy months, and a gradual clearing to the point where I found myself finally able to sit down and do some actual work i.e. stuff that’s on my To Do list not all the other things I’d been packing those foggy months with i.e. gardening, reorganising every room, learning how to use an MPC from scratch, learning synthesis, etc etc.

Before all this – ** she gesticulates wildly ** – I’d planned to get right back into my YouTube-ing post-album release. From first enthusiastically sharing vlogs on the platform in 2007 (filmed on tape so a pause for some appreciative self-applause for actually getting so much edited), my energy and efforts petered out over time to the point where I was only using my channel to upload music videos and the occasional behind the scenes video. And that irked me so much, because I started making videos before I was making my own music, and I ran my own one-woman production company in London as my main freelance hustle for nearly 10 years before DSLRs took over and I decided to take a break and do other things for a bit.

Giving up on making and sharing videos hurt me. It was a big, ongoing regret. And it annoyed the shit out of me whenever I thought about it, because I couldn’t blame anyone but myself. Clearly, I was busy doing other things like making albums and touring alongside trying to stay afloat through freelancing, but the heart wants what the heart wants, and I’ve never been any good at being realistic with time.

When I ended my first solo project She Makes War in 2019 and started planning my next one, Penfriend, I decided it was time to stop regretting. I would make the podcast I’d been thinking about for years, I would make a new YouTube channel, and I would actually put videos up there on a regular basis. And I bloody did it! For ages!

Of course now, blinking into the light as the trails of fog melt around me, I cannot fathom how I managed to make all that stuff.

Time has been acting weird recently, and because I was focusing on making and releasing my album “House Of Stories” – available on vinyl, CD and KiT box set direct from yours truly – from last May to this April, shifting from that single, big, long-term goal to my previous relentless weekly goals would have been quite a jump even if everything else had stayed calm.

Every time I thought about all the video footage that sits unedited on my collection of hard drives, or looked at my ideas list, I felt overwhelmed. I couldn’t imagine ever finishing a video and clicking the “upload” button. I think that’s why I made such a point of writing a blog post every week. I had to prove to myself I could still do things.

On Monday, inspired by talking to Katie and watching her unboxing video, and genuinely excited to unbox a brand new instrument called “Orchid”, I said “fuck it” and turned my camera on. I noodled around with the fun new thing, chucked the footage onto my computer, edited it in a couple of hours and uploaded it.

No overthinking, just action. Sometimes it really is that simple.

And here I am again, writing to you aka getting the fuck on with that as well.

A gentle pat on the back for us both.

Thanks for reading. Now go and do your thing!

Love,
Laura xxx

PS the t-shirt modelling photos are another thing I’ve been putting off. Apply basic makeup, stand in garden wearing cool new tee design, take self portrait with phone. Easy. Nope. Not easy. It took me a week to get around to it. But I did it! And now they are for sale here.

PPS here’s the video I made!

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1. Watch Katie’s unboxing video here.
   
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