For anyone feeling overwhelmed…

by Laura Kidd

I made this video to help. I’ve been feeling completely overwhelmed lately, and I know I’m not the only one. World events can make it feel like our “first world problems” don’t matter, but grief, stress and sadness can be a very heavy load. It can be hard to take care of our physical and mental health, whatever level of privilege we enjoy.

In 2019 I was gifted a bag of poppy seeds at one of my gigs, and this week they’ve been instrumental in helping me find a way forward. 2022 hasn’t been a great year, and that’s ok – I’ll keep trying to keep trying, and I hope you will too x (ps scroll down for the transcript)

I’ve been feeling completely overwhelmed lately. Personal and professional disasters and disappointments have been having unexpected effects. Big sadness, migraine auras, social anxiety, burnout.

I feel…stuck.

And then the news. Horror and helplessness. Truly awful things are happening all around the world, and I can’t do anything to help. In the face of all that, what do my little first-world problems matter?

Do you ever feel this way?

Yesterday, I looked out into my overgrown garden and I saw something magical had happened. Rising majestically from an aggressive clump of spiky weeds taller than me – poppies. Two big, juicy, glorious, decadent poppies.

In 2019, I tried gardening for the first time ever. I’d got bored of describing myself to myself as someone who just didn’t know what to do with plants, so I rolled up my sleeves and I had a go.

Later that year, after one of my gigs, I was presented with a little bag of poppy seeds. A lady who’d been following my gardening adventures through my quarterly zine wanted to share the fruits of her own flowers.

I was so touched. What a cool gift.

She told me to plant them in winter, but I was away touring pretty relentlessly that year, and didn’t get round to doing anything with the seeds. When I realised I’d missed my chance, I stored them somewhere safe for next year.

2020 happened, and I couldn’t find the seeds.

2021 happened, and I tidied up the shed at just the right time of year to find the poppy seeds and scatter them in the garden. I assumed their life force had already faded, but I felt guilty about not trying.

So I tried, and look! Poppies! And more poppies on the way!

Before today, I havedn’t touched this garden since last August when I cleared it for my beloved Mister Benji to recuperate in after his big operation. Since he left us, it’s been too much to even think about dealing with.

2022 hasn’t been a great year, and grief, stress and sadness can be a very heavy load.

But now, seeing these gorgeous flowers just going about their business, shooting up towards the sky, I’ve been inspired to get back into gardening again. I think it might be my first step towards becoming unstuck.

And I wouldn’t be feeling just like this, right at this moment, if it weren’t for the generous gift of the poppy seeds.

Look how we can affect each other.

Look how we can help each other.

Look how we can raise each other up and give each other hope through little acts of kindness.

And look at the beauty that exists in this incredible world of ours.

We all need nutrients, water and light.

We all need hope: space to grow, something to look forward to.

We all need to clear the weeds once in a while, and remind ourselves of what’s important.

You matter. I matter. This matters. We can’t do everything, but we can do something.

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Letterbox Mindfulness