Indecision: an elaborate and time-consuming way of achieving absolutely nothing

Indecision: an elaborate and time-consuming way of achieving absolutely nothing

Creativity Letterbox Mindfulness


15 months after setting up my Substack and deciding to get back to my writing roots, I’m still twisting myself into knots about what to write about what and where to put it.

What an elaborate and time-consuming way of achieving absolutely nothing.

The latest obstacle I’m putting in my own way is this idea of having to have three things finished before publishing anything. I watched a video about this recently, and it made total sense at the time.

It’s a great idea – if you’re a few pieces ahead you can detach from the immediate impact on “the world” of what you just published. Numbers schmumbers. You can concentrate on the next thing you’re working on, and focus on building a library of writing, or videos, or whatever you’re sharing.

I love this. I agree wholeheartedly that the work is the thing to concentrate on. Lead indicators (what you put in) over lag indicators (results) every time (spot the “12 Week year” fan!).

But at the moment – recently recovered from a nasty bout of burnout coupled with a Christmas-consuming cold, depleted from recording my latest album of sad songs and, to be honest, a little daunted about releasing it in April – finishing one new thing and publishing it feels like an insurmountable task, let alone waiting til I’ve finished three.

I’ve been writing on the internet for a full 20 years now, but starting from scratch on Substack – and on my deliciously secret new YouTube channel – is incredibly freeing. I feel like I’m lifting the lid off a box I made for myself that grew tighter as the years went on.

I’ve been through this before, deciding to end a music project I’d been working on for 15+ years to start fresh in 2020. This time it’s not an ending, but an expansion. A sideways, onwards and upwards move.

A simple shift in thinking about how and where I share what I make has got me excited about making things again.

And it turns out I don’t want to wait til I have three finished things before I start sharing.

Here I am.

This is the start of something. My attempt to do my best as an imperfect human to create a sustainable practice of writing essays and making videos, while continuing to make music I’m proud of.

I’m absolutely sick of waiting for the right moment to do things. I’m tired of annoying myself with my lack of ability to complete things, throw them out there and move on.

The release of any creative work is a release of tension which creates forward motion. As long as the time is set aside to continue to build the practise of making the next thing, I’ll gradually get three pieces ahead and enjoy this glorious detachment. Or I won’t, and it’ll be a scramble, and that’s also fine.

A joyful, messy creative scramble is a fine life to live, and I’m grateful to live it. Staying quiet, writing thousands of words and keeping them locked inside my laptop is no fun at all.

I’ve been releasing music for 15 years without any set schedule of consistency, and everything has worked out just fine. My eighth album is due out in April, and as I figure out the words to describe it, I’ll share those here as well.

I’m all for creating systems, putting the work in and showing up on a regular basis, but I’d rather do it haphazardly than not at all.

Having said that, I’ll (try to) see you here next Thursday for more.

Have a wonderful week.

Laura x


PS the image up top is a photo of an index card I decorated yesterday – another way I’m unblocking my creativity in 2025. More on this experiment soon
.

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Thank you for visiting!

🎁 Tap to get your FREE 12-track album + 31-page PDF zine of stories, photographs and artwork here.

🏠 My new Penfriend album “House Of Stories” is available to order NOW on super limited vinyl, CDs and KiT hybrid digital albums, with accompanying tees, hoodies and books. Get two songs in your inbox immediately, with another every month til the release date in April (before anyone else).

❤️ Join The Correspondent’s Club on Patreon to receive quarterly bundles of art and members-only music plus extra perks + immediate access to my entire digital archive (digital and analogue memberships available)

🎸 Listen to my first Penfriend album “Exotic Monsters” and browse my back catalogue here.

🎨 If you make things too – or want to know more about the creative process – I’m sharing thoughtful weekly essays here on my experiments in art, music and life on Substack (and I won’t be at all offended if you prefer to read my stuff there rather than on this absolutely gorgeous website).

💬 Chat with me on BlueskyTwitterInstagram and Facebook.

See you soon xo



PS yes, my songs are available everywhere else you listen to music online.
Just search for Penfriend, She Makes War and Obey Robots.

You could even subscribe here to send a message to the algorithm overlords that Penfriend rocks!

Better still ⤵️

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Why I stopped making videos…

Why I stopped making videos…

Letterbox Mindfulness Process

NEXT

Thank you for visiting!

🎁 Tap to get your FREE 12-track album + 31-page PDF zine of stories, photographs and artwork here.

🏠 My new Penfriend album “House Of Stories” is available to order NOW on super limited vinyl, CDs and KiT hybrid digital albums, with accompanying tees, hoodies and books. Get two songs in your inbox immediately, with another every month til the release date in April (before anyone else).

❤️ Join The Correspondent’s Club on Patreon to receive quarterly bundles of art and members-only music plus extra perks + immediate access to my entire digital archive (digital and analogue memberships available)

🎸 Listen to my first Penfriend album “Exotic Monsters” and browse my back catalogue here.

🎨 If you make things too – or want to know more about the creative process – I’m sharing thoughtful weekly essays here on my experiments in art, music and life on Substack (and I won’t be at all offended if you prefer to read my stuff there rather than on this absolutely gorgeous website).

💬 Chat with me on BlueskyTwitterInstagram and Facebook.

See you soon xo



PS yes, my songs are available everywhere else you listen to music online.
Just search for Penfriend, She Makes War and Obey Robots.

You could even subscribe here to send a message to the algorithm overlords that Penfriend rocks!

Better still ⤵️

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What’s the worst that could happen?!

What’s the worst that could happen?!

Letterbox Mindfulness Process

➡️ A brief explanation of why I haven’t been posting videos via some thoughts on sustainable creative practices and getting over ourselves to be able to do the things we enjoy, beaming to you from the northernmost German island, Sylt!

Thumbnail fire image by ArthurHidden on Freepik

NEXT

Thank you for visiting!

🎁 Tap to get your FREE 12-track album + 31-page PDF zine of stories, photographs and artwork here.

🏠 My new Penfriend album “House Of Stories” is available to order NOW on super limited vinyl, CDs and KiT hybrid digital albums, with accompanying tees, hoodies and books. Get two songs in your inbox immediately, with another every month til the release date in April (before anyone else).

❤️ Join The Correspondent’s Club on Patreon to receive quarterly bundles of art and members-only music plus extra perks + immediate access to my entire digital archive (digital and analogue memberships available)

🎸 Listen to my first Penfriend album “Exotic Monsters” and browse my back catalogue here.

🎨 If you make things too – or want to know more about the creative process – I’m sharing thoughtful weekly essays here on my experiments in art, music and life on Substack (and I won’t be at all offended if you prefer to read my stuff there rather than on this absolutely gorgeous website).

💬 Chat with me on BlueskyTwitterInstagram and Facebook.

See you soon xo



PS yes, my songs are available everywhere else you listen to music online.
Just search for Penfriend, She Makes War and Obey Robots.

You could even subscribe here to send a message to the algorithm overlords that Penfriend rocks!

Better still ⤵️

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Mending the year (livestream invitation)

Mending the year (livestream invitation)

Letterbox Mindfulness


It’s that time of year again… and I’ll admit I find it challenging, especially this year with a very fresh, very sad family loss.

At my last livestream I said I’d set something up for the end of December, and this is as much to give me something to aim for as it is to welcome you if you’re in need of some hopeful sad songs, friendly chat and community.

Date: Friday 29th December 2023
Time: 8pm UK (turn up and chat from 7.45pm)
Entry: FREE to all, just make sure you subscribe to join the chat
Watch link: https://www.youtube.com/live/zM5tNEDElFY?si=Yo_P2_BQcnNlJIw-


The concept of being able to “mend the year” (a lyric from my 2016 song Paper Thin”) is something I picked up from Siegfried Sassoon’s 1916 anti-war poem “In The Pink”.

“For once his blood ran warm; he had pay to spend. Winter was passing; soon the year would mend.”

I try not to wish my precious moments away, but have often found myself in late November / early December wanting to skip to the end and launch fresh into the New Year. There’s something about turning the proverbial page that appeals so much to me, as arbitrary as the shift from 31st December to 1st January may be.

“Paper Thin” is a song about picking myself up after one of my worst years – 2014. Bereavements, breakups, illnesses…it was one of those years where you can’t believe yet another rubbish thing has happened, and you wonder how much more you can take. And then another rubbish thing happens.

“I’m in the wars – I blame the bad weather
A flood of tears, I drift without a shelter
Reduce my world to things that I have worked for
I lick my wounds and wonder if I can mend the year”

In the song I didn’t want to leave things to nature, as Sassoon’s poem does – how sure does he sound? “Soon the year would mend” – because I like to think I’ve got control over things (haha). Instead, I list the things I know will help me:

“I heal myself with friends and conversation
Some time alone, a sober celebration.”

It’s helpful, when I find myself thrust back into those feelings of loss, grief and sadness, to remember these lyrics come from experience. And that the feelings aren’t insignificant, but they do shift and change and feel less BIG with time.

All of which is to say: if you’re feeling less than jolly with Christmas round the corner, I get it. You’re not alone. It helps me to know that I’m not, so thanks for being here.

Jolly or not, you’re welcome at the livestream next Friday. Bring yourself, a tasty drink and a snack and any questions/comments for the live chat (you’re also welcome to stay quiet and just watch).

Warmest wishes and lots of love
Laura xxx

NEXT

Thank you for visiting!

🎁 Tap to get your FREE 12-track album + 31-page PDF zine of stories, photographs and artwork here.

🏠 My new Penfriend album “House Of Stories” is available to order NOW on super limited vinyl, CDs and KiT hybrid digital albums, with accompanying tees, hoodies and books. Get two songs in your inbox immediately, with another every month til the release date in April (before anyone else).

❤️ Join The Correspondent’s Club on Patreon to receive quarterly bundles of art and members-only music plus extra perks + immediate access to my entire digital archive (digital and analogue memberships available)

🎸 Listen to my first Penfriend album “Exotic Monsters” and browse my back catalogue here.

🎨 If you make things too – or want to know more about the creative process – I’m sharing thoughtful weekly essays here on my experiments in art, music and life on Substack (and I won’t be at all offended if you prefer to read my stuff there rather than on this absolutely gorgeous website).

💬 Chat with me on BlueskyTwitterInstagram and Facebook.

See you soon xo



PS yes, my songs are available everywhere else you listen to music online.
Just search for Penfriend, She Makes War and Obey Robots.

You could even subscribe here to send a message to the algorithm overlords that Penfriend rocks!

Better still ⤵️

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I can’t do this any more // Tea & Empathy Episode 004

I can’t do this any more // Tea & Empathy Episode 004

Creativity Letterbox Mindfulness Process


Have you ever wondered what happens when you click “BUY” on an indie artist’s products?

In Tea & Empathy Episode 004, join me as I package up orders from my House Clearance music and merch sale prior to leaving Bristol FOREVER. I talk about upcoming changes, gratitude and more.

Starring Lunapup and Albydog.

✅ Watch more episodes of “Tea & Empathy” here xo

NEXT

Thank you for visiting!

🎁 Tap to get your FREE 12-track album + 31-page PDF zine of stories, photographs and artwork here.

🏠 My new Penfriend album “House Of Stories” is available to order NOW on super limited vinyl, CDs and KiT hybrid digital albums, with accompanying tees, hoodies and books. Get two songs in your inbox immediately, with another every month til the release date in April (before anyone else).

❤️ Join The Correspondent’s Club on Patreon to receive quarterly bundles of art and members-only music plus extra perks + immediate access to my entire digital archive (digital and analogue memberships available)

🎸 Listen to my first Penfriend album “Exotic Monsters” and browse my back catalogue here.

🎨 If you make things too – or want to know more about the creative process – I’m sharing thoughtful weekly essays here on my experiments in art, music and life on Substack (and I won’t be at all offended if you prefer to read my stuff there rather than on this absolutely gorgeous website).

💬 Chat with me on BlueskyTwitterInstagram and Facebook.

See you soon xo



PS yes, my songs are available everywhere else you listen to music online.
Just search for Penfriend, She Makes War and Obey Robots.

You could even subscribe here to send a message to the algorithm overlords that Penfriend rocks!

Better still ⤵️

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Why I NEVER lie // Tea & Empathy Episode 003

Why I NEVER lie // Tea & Empathy Episode 003

Creativity Letterbox Mindfulness Process


Authenticity is a word we hear all the time, especially in relation to how we should present ourselves online. After something big happened recently, I wanted to talk about why I NEVER lie.

-> Order Andy J. Pizza & Sophie Miller’s ACE new book “Invisible Things” here (and support this channel at the same time)
-> Visit the “Invisible Things” site here
-> Then listen to Creative Pep Talk (it’s my fave!)

✅ This is Episode 3 of “Tea & Empathy” – watch the rest here xo

NEXT

Thank you for visiting!

🎁 Tap to get your FREE 12-track album + 31-page PDF zine of stories, photographs and artwork here.

🏠 My new Penfriend album “House Of Stories” is available to order NOW on super limited vinyl, CDs and KiT hybrid digital albums, with accompanying tees, hoodies and books. Get two songs in your inbox immediately, with another every month til the release date in April (before anyone else).

❤️ Join The Correspondent’s Club on Patreon to receive quarterly bundles of art and members-only music plus extra perks + immediate access to my entire digital archive (digital and analogue memberships available)

🎸 Listen to my first Penfriend album “Exotic Monsters” and browse my back catalogue here.

🎨 If you make things too – or want to know more about the creative process – I’m sharing thoughtful weekly essays here on my experiments in art, music and life on Substack (and I won’t be at all offended if you prefer to read my stuff there rather than on this absolutely gorgeous website).

💬 Chat with me on BlueskyTwitterInstagram and Facebook.

See you soon xo



PS yes, my songs are available everywhere else you listen to music online.
Just search for Penfriend, She Makes War and Obey Robots.

You could even subscribe here to send a message to the algorithm overlords that Penfriend rocks!

Better still ⤵️

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Should you join Threads? Here’s a better question…

Should you join Threads? Here’s a better question…

Creativity Letterbox Mindfulness Process


“Oh no, not another one!” I hear you cry, as Meta’s Twitter-like new social media platform Threads takes hold. I’ve been having a nice time on there, but wanted to offer this alternative viewpoint that applies to all social media platforms.

NEXT

Thank you for visiting!

🎁 Tap to get your FREE 12-track album + 31-page PDF zine of stories, photographs and artwork here.

🏠 My new Penfriend album “House Of Stories” is available to order NOW on super limited vinyl, CDs and KiT hybrid digital albums, with accompanying tees, hoodies and books. Get two songs in your inbox immediately, with another every month til the release date in April (before anyone else).

❤️ Join The Correspondent’s Club on Patreon to receive quarterly bundles of art and members-only music plus extra perks + immediate access to my entire digital archive (digital and analogue memberships available)

🎸 Listen to my first Penfriend album “Exotic Monsters” and browse my back catalogue here.

🎨 If you make things too – or want to know more about the creative process – I’m sharing thoughtful weekly essays here on my experiments in art, music and life on Substack (and I won’t be at all offended if you prefer to read my stuff there rather than on this absolutely gorgeous website).

💬 Chat with me on BlueskyTwitterInstagram and Facebook.

See you soon xo



PS yes, my songs are available everywhere else you listen to music online.
Just search for Penfriend, She Makes War and Obey Robots.

You could even subscribe here to send a message to the algorithm overlords that Penfriend rocks!

Better still ⤵️

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UNBELIEVABLE. Solidarity with Billy Nomates / Tor Maries // Tea & Empathy Ep 001

UNBELIEVABLE. Solidarity with Billy Nomates / Tor Maries // Tea & Empathy Ep 001

Creativity Letterbox Mindfulness


AKA how not everything is for you, and how music criticism is different from bullying. I share a few thoughts on the barrage of abuse Tor aka Billy Nomates received for doing THE JOB SHE WAS HIRED TO DO by Glastonbury Festival / BBC 6 Music on the weekend. She earned that slot!

This is the first in a new series called “Tea & Empathy” – use the comment section to send me any questions you’d like answering, or topics you’d like to suggest for future episodes xo

PS yes, I suppose this first one is “Beer & Empathy” – it was too hot in Paphos for tea!

NEXT

Thank you for visiting!

🎁 Tap to get your FREE 12-track album + 31-page PDF zine of stories, photographs and artwork here.

🏠 My new Penfriend album “House Of Stories” is available to order NOW on super limited vinyl, CDs and KiT hybrid digital albums, with accompanying tees, hoodies and books. Get two songs in your inbox immediately, with another every month til the release date in April (before anyone else).

❤️ Join The Correspondent’s Club on Patreon to receive quarterly bundles of art and members-only music plus extra perks + immediate access to my entire digital archive (digital and analogue memberships available)

🎸 Listen to my first Penfriend album “Exotic Monsters” and browse my back catalogue here.

🎨 If you make things too – or want to know more about the creative process – I’m sharing thoughtful weekly essays here on my experiments in art, music and life on Substack (and I won’t be at all offended if you prefer to read my stuff there rather than on this absolutely gorgeous website).

💬 Chat with me on BlueskyTwitterInstagram and Facebook.

See you soon xo



PS yes, my songs are available everywhere else you listen to music online.
Just search for Penfriend, She Makes War and Obey Robots.

You could even subscribe here to send a message to the algorithm overlords that Penfriend rocks!

Better still ⤵️

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This home recording essential might surprise you…

This home recording essential might surprise you…

Creativity Letterbox Mindfulness Process Productivity

Welcome to episode 2 of my Creative Spaces series!

I met Ryan Hamilton online recently after his album release plan went very wrong…and I thought to balance out the industry kerfuffle we should have a deep chat about creativity, music recording and how your space can affect your work. So we did!

We talk about how easy it is to record your own music, which three things Ryan considers essential for recording, where songs come from and the magic word to use in your lyrics to bump up your streaming numbers 🤣.

Ryan also talks about Death Cab For Cutie’s Ben Gibbard, and the story behind “I Will Follow You Into The Dark”…and there’s even a cameo from Justin Hawkins!

Watch more “Creative Spaces” videos here, and subscribe to my channel for more xo

NEXT

Thank you for visiting!

🎁 Tap to get your FREE 12-track album + 31-page PDF zine of stories, photographs and artwork here.

🏠 My new Penfriend album “House Of Stories” is available to order NOW on super limited vinyl, CDs and KiT hybrid digital albums, with accompanying tees, hoodies and books. Get two songs in your inbox immediately, with another every month til the release date in April (before anyone else).

❤️ Join The Correspondent’s Club on Patreon to receive quarterly bundles of art and members-only music plus extra perks + immediate access to my entire digital archive (digital and analogue memberships available)

🎸 Listen to my first Penfriend album “Exotic Monsters” and browse my back catalogue here.

🎨 If you make things too – or want to know more about the creative process – I’m sharing thoughtful weekly essays here on my experiments in art, music and life on Substack (and I won’t be at all offended if you prefer to read my stuff there rather than on this absolutely gorgeous website).

💬 Chat with me on BlueskyTwitterInstagram and Facebook.

See you soon xo



PS yes, my songs are available everywhere else you listen to music online.
Just search for Penfriend, She Makes War and Obey Robots.

You could even subscribe here to send a message to the algorithm overlords that Penfriend rocks!

Better still ⤵️

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Do something different.

Do something different.

Creativity Letterbox Mindfulness

In September 2021 I was burned out and feeling super sad – so I decided I had to do something completely different. A one-off surf lesson led to my first outdoor swim…and in October 2022 I found myself in Marseille!

Subscribe to see future videos x


➡️ Places I mention in this video:

The Wave, Bristol – aka “man-made wave…place”

Swimming locations shown:

Clevedon Marine Lake
Cromhall Quarry (Gloucestershire)
Dosthill Quarry (Tamworth)
Lake 32 (Cotswold Water Park, Wiltshire)
Praia da Rainha, Cascais, Portugal
(I also swam in Estoril…more on that in a future video)

Vivienne Rickman runs regular wild swimming experiences in Snowdonia – I highly recommend!

In Marseille I swam at:

Calanque de Podestat
Calanque de Sormiou
Plage du Prado

And I stayed at L’Appartement in Sormiou which is where I met my gorgeous guard dog friend Oknit.

NEXT

Thank you for visiting!

🎁 Tap to get your FREE 12-track album + 31-page PDF zine of stories, photographs and artwork here.

🏠 My new Penfriend album “House Of Stories” is available to order NOW on super limited vinyl, CDs and KiT hybrid digital albums, with accompanying tees, hoodies and books. Get two songs in your inbox immediately, with another every month til the release date in April (before anyone else).

❤️ Join The Correspondent’s Club on Patreon to receive quarterly bundles of art and members-only music plus extra perks + immediate access to my entire digital archive (digital and analogue memberships available)

🎸 Listen to my first Penfriend album “Exotic Monsters” and browse my back catalogue here.

🎨 If you make things too – or want to know more about the creative process – I’m sharing thoughtful weekly essays here on my experiments in art, music and life on Substack (and I won’t be at all offended if you prefer to read my stuff there rather than on this absolutely gorgeous website).

💬 Chat with me on BlueskyTwitterInstagram and Facebook.

See you soon xo



PS yes, my songs are available everywhere else you listen to music online.
Just search for Penfriend, She Makes War and Obey Robots.

You could even subscribe here to send a message to the algorithm overlords that Penfriend rocks!

Better still ⤵️

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